this is true. im not fully through the process of outgrowing my pain but i can already tell you its true . i became far healthier and more pleasant to be around when i stopped trying to be someone i wasnt
Oh yes, it will. You have to demand your pronouns to be called by them because people are rude, (or incorrectly polite) but they definitely see it. We have a curvaceous aura, even when it doesn't fully manifest physically. Most of why many of us were treated poorly even before HRT is because, paradoxically, They Can Always Tell. They just aren't honest with themselves about what they can always tell.
This is true, unfortunately I can't get over the instinctive reflex of wanting to wait until it's all medically done before doing it socially, because I feel like everyone is a threat. I intellectually know not everyone is, but emotionally, everyone is a threat. Even myself. And so in a misguided self-preservation protocol, I hurt myself further hoping one day I'll be in the "perfect position" for the social transition. I just don't know how to fix that and need an actual support network that will make me trust them and push me to actually do it. That's the entire issue and solution. I just don't know where to find this support network I desperately need.
Intellectually, everyone *is* a threat. Under kyriarchy, threat is the only language that is heard. To become more of a player and less of a piece on the board, you must become threatening; that is how social transition do.
I spent my first eight months while on HRT actively trying to boymode in public.
I realised that I had wasted eight months which could've been spent working through my awkward phase.
I now just try to accept being ugly or clocky in public. All because I'd rather be a gawky twenty-something woman than a miserable twenty-something man.
halimede as a cis woman you cannot possibly understand the complexities of transfeminine boyhood & the onion-like layers of irony that calling one's self a boy post-transition involves. now i personally do not call myself a boy ever bc i'm 39 but i think it's cute when young trans do it. it makes me go "hehe, u lil scamp. ur not a boy! :3". i'm sorry you will never know the amusement of this for us. but just bc it's good to end on a positive note, i will say that you're absolutely right about it/its pronouns. like come tf on lol
I understand why you want this to stop, and some girls are definitely doing what you're trying to get them to stop. However, leaving aside the arguments regarding comedic taste, there are two important errors in what you're doing. I'm also going to leave aside actually discussing genderfluidity and plurality, despite both applying to me, because they are Complicated.
1) Under patriarchy, "boy" is a type of woman. I had firsthand experience that taught me this before I even knew the word "patriarchy." I was blessed with gynecomastia in my first puberty. It was a bit awkward at the time, but turned out to be pretty useful later. How did this affect me? I was groped at school, hauled into the principal about it, and interrogated as though I would be considered complicit if I didn't compound my humiliation by admitting what was done to me and agreeing with a middle-aged Evangelist man that men have breasts. I was a boy, I was firmly a boy, and I generally *liked* being a boy, and if this story doesn't prove I was also a woman, I don't know what can.
Every part of your assertion that boys are weird and gross are parts of the process of turning them into men, and each of them can be rejected by any boy. Don't blame boys for becoming men, blame society for teaching them they have to. Any of them can be saved! I'm a girl, but now and then as a treat, I'm a boy, and it's because I value my own past in a way that is rare among my peers. I find this a source of inner strength that allowed me to develop much faster confidence in which pretty dresses I am allowed to wear. (All of them.)
I would never be caught dead wearing a trucker hat, if that's what you're worried about. Futches who wear trucker hats can call me, though.
2) Rejection of humanity isn't always about abjection. It's *almost* always about abjection, and this can certainly make it difficult to commune with my tribe because chastity cages bother me just as much as I'm sure they bother you. On the most literal philosophical level, what I reject is the placement of humanity above nature; it doesn't even matter that it is *fact* we are above it, as we presently live. Doing so is obviously the source of most of our worst errors, and we should stop it.
I choose to lead by example by venerating and emulating dogs. Dogs are fundamentally Good in a way that is not observed in most great apes, humans least of all. Dogs have never (or at least, must be tricked into it through evil methods of operant conditioning) made anyone homeless or bombed any hospitals. The observation that they can't is irrelevant; they are far more intelligent than they are credited for, as we observe when they are given assistive communication devices. If they could, they wouldn't. I am a puppygirl because it is an expression of nobility, and I want to live as they would if we didn't treat them as property; no collars, cages, or castration for me. I disidentify with humanity because I wish to free myself and others from its collective folly. I wouldn't usually call a dog "it," though, so, not sure you'd even notice about this one.
Incorrect! You can just keep boying. "Man" is a choice, at the very least as resignation. Adult boys exist and remain at least in part patriarchally women for as long as they refuse to assimilate to manhood. I will grant that it gets exponentially harder to sell with age; there are some for whom medical transition without social transition may be helpful, if "boy" is the specific point they wish to habituate.
If it helps to think of it thus, you could say I'm simply dropping the "tom."
Adult girl is not an oxymoron. There is no reason adult boy would be other than that patriarchy demands it is to shove boys into manhood. So, it's not.
I mean, adult girl *is* also an oxymoron. 'boy' and 'girl' are occasionally used casually in place of man and woman whilst still referring to adults, but only in specific circumstances (e.g. 'drinking with the boys').
The way I see both words used in modern parlance, this simply isn't a descriptive take anymore; it's prescribing a more traditional pattern of usage that centers patriarchal adulthood, precluding the linguistic possibility of stating "gendered, but not like that."
How would we have femboys if adults couldn't be boys? They aren't all repressors, some dudes just like being pretty.
I don’t really call myself a boy (or anything at all, I try to avoid it) but I don’t really make any social effort either because of family despite being on HRT, and despite the fact they can absolutely tell. Neither of us acknowledge it and I’m not exactly sure how to even initiate that conversation
In my own case, I found that what I needed was a simple enough explanation to obviate the need for a conversation. If they really need a conversation to accept a label and wardrobe change, it likely wouldn't have been a very productive one, anyway. Productive conversations with people who need to "get it" are a thing you can sometimes have after you've had a bit more practice, but the fact we tend to make them a prerequisite of coming out is exactly why the closet is a jail.
transitioning really did make me a more functional and adjusted adult (after the first year) it's kinda crazy how far basic self dignity takes you
this is true. im not fully through the process of outgrowing my pain but i can already tell you its true . i became far healthier and more pleasant to be around when i stopped trying to be someone i wasnt
>insist on self-sufficiency to the point of self-sabotage
Literally me.
ffs that’s one thing i still can’t seem to shake off the older i get.
> if you are on Hormone Replacement Therapy it will become very obvious to everybody around you that you are a girl very soon.
not true.
Otherwise good essay :)
Oh yes, it will. You have to demand your pronouns to be called by them because people are rude, (or incorrectly polite) but they definitely see it. We have a curvaceous aura, even when it doesn't fully manifest physically. Most of why many of us were treated poorly even before HRT is because, paradoxically, They Can Always Tell. They just aren't honest with themselves about what they can always tell.
not my experience at all but you do you!
it/it’s nonhumans are the best queers to be around, fuck you
I prefer women, personally
they make me sad
I will never stop boymoder because /tttt/ told that I will never pass so they no point pretend to women FMSTL
Can you type in English please
do you think the average /tttt/ poster should be believed about anything
ahh love this this writing is hella <3 every time I read it
This is true, unfortunately I can't get over the instinctive reflex of wanting to wait until it's all medically done before doing it socially, because I feel like everyone is a threat. I intellectually know not everyone is, but emotionally, everyone is a threat. Even myself. And so in a misguided self-preservation protocol, I hurt myself further hoping one day I'll be in the "perfect position" for the social transition. I just don't know how to fix that and need an actual support network that will make me trust them and push me to actually do it. That's the entire issue and solution. I just don't know where to find this support network I desperately need.
Intellectually, everyone *is* a threat. Under kyriarchy, threat is the only language that is heard. To become more of a player and less of a piece on the board, you must become threatening; that is how social transition do.
I spent my first eight months while on HRT actively trying to boymode in public.
I realised that I had wasted eight months which could've been spent working through my awkward phase.
I now just try to accept being ugly or clocky in public. All because I'd rather be a gawky twenty-something woman than a miserable twenty-something man.
halimede as a cis woman you cannot possibly understand the complexities of transfeminine boyhood & the onion-like layers of irony that calling one's self a boy post-transition involves. now i personally do not call myself a boy ever bc i'm 39 but i think it's cute when young trans do it. it makes me go "hehe, u lil scamp. ur not a boy! :3". i'm sorry you will never know the amusement of this for us. but just bc it's good to end on a positive note, i will say that you're absolutely right about it/its pronouns. like come tf on lol
sooo true! some time ago i was invited to play my first dj set and chose "smalltown boi" as my stage name i think it's hilarious
I understand why you want this to stop, and some girls are definitely doing what you're trying to get them to stop. However, leaving aside the arguments regarding comedic taste, there are two important errors in what you're doing. I'm also going to leave aside actually discussing genderfluidity and plurality, despite both applying to me, because they are Complicated.
1) Under patriarchy, "boy" is a type of woman. I had firsthand experience that taught me this before I even knew the word "patriarchy." I was blessed with gynecomastia in my first puberty. It was a bit awkward at the time, but turned out to be pretty useful later. How did this affect me? I was groped at school, hauled into the principal about it, and interrogated as though I would be considered complicit if I didn't compound my humiliation by admitting what was done to me and agreeing with a middle-aged Evangelist man that men have breasts. I was a boy, I was firmly a boy, and I generally *liked* being a boy, and if this story doesn't prove I was also a woman, I don't know what can.
Every part of your assertion that boys are weird and gross are parts of the process of turning them into men, and each of them can be rejected by any boy. Don't blame boys for becoming men, blame society for teaching them they have to. Any of them can be saved! I'm a girl, but now and then as a treat, I'm a boy, and it's because I value my own past in a way that is rare among my peers. I find this a source of inner strength that allowed me to develop much faster confidence in which pretty dresses I am allowed to wear. (All of them.)
I would never be caught dead wearing a trucker hat, if that's what you're worried about. Futches who wear trucker hats can call me, though.
2) Rejection of humanity isn't always about abjection. It's *almost* always about abjection, and this can certainly make it difficult to commune with my tribe because chastity cages bother me just as much as I'm sure they bother you. On the most literal philosophical level, what I reject is the placement of humanity above nature; it doesn't even matter that it is *fact* we are above it, as we presently live. Doing so is obviously the source of most of our worst errors, and we should stop it.
I choose to lead by example by venerating and emulating dogs. Dogs are fundamentally Good in a way that is not observed in most great apes, humans least of all. Dogs have never (or at least, must be tricked into it through evil methods of operant conditioning) made anyone homeless or bombed any hospitals. The observation that they can't is irrelevant; they are far more intelligent than they are credited for, as we observe when they are given assistive communication devices. If they could, they wouldn't. I am a puppygirl because it is an expression of nobility, and I want to live as they would if we didn't treat them as property; no collars, cages, or castration for me. I disidentify with humanity because I wish to free myself and others from its collective folly. I wouldn't usually call a dog "it," though, so, not sure you'd even notice about this one.
'boy' inevitably becomes 'man', the process is only stopped by removing oneself from 'boy'
Incorrect! You can just keep boying. "Man" is a choice, at the very least as resignation. Adult boys exist and remain at least in part patriarchally women for as long as they refuse to assimilate to manhood. I will grant that it gets exponentially harder to sell with age; there are some for whom medical transition without social transition may be helpful, if "boy" is the specific point they wish to habituate.
If it helps to think of it thus, you could say I'm simply dropping the "tom."
adult boy is an oxymoron, the two roles are mutually exclusive. you can't really do both at the same time.
Adult girl is not an oxymoron. There is no reason adult boy would be other than that patriarchy demands it is to shove boys into manhood. So, it's not.
I mean, adult girl *is* also an oxymoron. 'boy' and 'girl' are occasionally used casually in place of man and woman whilst still referring to adults, but only in specific circumstances (e.g. 'drinking with the boys').
The way I see both words used in modern parlance, this simply isn't a descriptive take anymore; it's prescribing a more traditional pattern of usage that centers patriarchal adulthood, precluding the linguistic possibility of stating "gendered, but not like that."
How would we have femboys if adults couldn't be boys? They aren't all repressors, some dudes just like being pretty.
Called out
no
...mostly because being called "good boy" is really hot
also because I'm genderfluid / bigender. I have been on E for years tho lol
I don’t really call myself a boy (or anything at all, I try to avoid it) but I don’t really make any social effort either because of family despite being on HRT, and despite the fact they can absolutely tell. Neither of us acknowledge it and I’m not exactly sure how to even initiate that conversation
In my own case, I found that what I needed was a simple enough explanation to obviate the need for a conversation. If they really need a conversation to accept a label and wardrobe change, it likely wouldn't have been a very productive one, anyway. Productive conversations with people who need to "get it" are a thing you can sometimes have after you've had a bit more practice, but the fact we tend to make them a prerequisite of coming out is exactly why the closet is a jail.
Okay well first of all I call myself a man, not a boy. Now, to read the rest of the article...
i want you
Hello. perhaps we can come, to an agreement of some kind?
i would love nothing more 🥺